Never Had A Friend Like Him
by MOVIELORD101
Summary: Legend tells of a magic lamp that contains a being with the power to grant its master wishes. But instead of being found by a lowly street-rat in ancient Agrabah, what if it was found by 3 teenage girls working as secret agents in present day? Hilarity ensues. Contains songs from both the original 1992 movie and the 2019 live-action remake!
1. Spywork and Magic

**Author's Note: Sorry I've canceled A Bigger Universe. I was stuck for so long on it. Here's a newer crossover that I was able to have a more concrete idea for.**

**Note: At certain points in this story, there will be song numbers based off of both the original Aladdin and the recent remake. I will be linking the original song's basis as a Youtube link as a way to picture the redone version's rhythm. The lyrics will be re-tooled to fit the story's events.**

_**(Song for opening montage: Arabian Nights (2019)- Will Smith):**_

_**watch?v=T9GmO_WFhjQ**_

_**Agrabah, Saudi Arabia: 12:00 P.M.-10:00 P.M.**_

_Oh, imagine a land, it's a faraway place_  
_Where the caravan camels roam_  
_Where you wander among every culture and tongue_  
_It's chaotic, but hey, it's home_

_When the wind's from the east_  
_And the sun's from the west_  
_And the sand in the glass is right_  
_Come on down, stop on by_  
_Hop a carpet and fly_  
_To another Arabian night_

For W.H.O.O.P.'s best agents, this at first came off as just another mission. Some crazy political adviser turned would-be "sorcerer" called Jafar was after some kind of jewel in the bazaars of a decently-sized Saudi Arabian kingdom called Agrabah. For what purpose, Jerry wasn't sure, but he had sent Sam, Alex, and Clover to investigate. Upon arriving in the city, they were amazed at just how incredible it was. The place looked like something out of a movie, with a busy marketplace and a massive, gorgeous palace looming over the kingdom. But this was not the time for shopping or sight-seeing (much to Clover's disappointment). The 3 girls had a bad guy to catch.

_As you wind through the streets at the fabled bazaars_  
_With the cardamom-cluttered stalls_  
_You can smell every spice_  
_While you haggle the price_  
_Of the silks and the satin shawls_

The 3 split up to interrogate anyone who knew of Jafar and what he was looking for. As the day became night, the initial results were not pleasing. Alex had little luck in her efforts due to her awkwardness and clumsiness, while Clover kept getting distracted by all the cute local boys her age who stopped to talk to her. One of them even had a pet monkey who was good at stealing.

_Oh, the music that plays as you move through a maze_  
_In the haze of your pure delight_  
_You are caught in a dance, you are lost in the trance_  
_Of another Arabian night_

Fortunately, Sam had cornered a shady-looking peddler who told her that Jafar had taken from him two-halves of a gold beetle that, when put together, could lead him to a place considered only a myth: the Cave of Wonders. The Cave was a place said to be a place filled with riches, but also something else...something powerful that could be dangerous in the wrong hands. Before Sam could question the peddler further, she just so happened to spot Jafar and his 4 henchmen riding out of the city towards the desert. She quickly alerted her friends and they all gave chase.

_Arabian nights_  
_Like Arabian days_  
_More often than not are hotter than hot_  
_In a lot of good ways_

_Arabian nights_  
_Like Arabian dreams_  
_This mystical land of magic and sand_

_Is more than it seems _

The chase lead far across the desert plains to seemingly the middle of nowhere, where Jafar, already well again of the 3 girls pursuing him, stopped to combine the pieces of the beetle. No sooner were they put together, then the metal insect came to life and took off into the desert. "GIVE CHASE!" ordered Jafar. "FOLLOW THAT TRAIL!"

_There's a road that may lead you to good or to greed_  
_Through the power your wishing commands_  
_Let the darkness unfold or find fortunes untold_  
_Well, your destiny lies in your hands_

Eventually, the beetle dove into the sand and a massive tiger's head made of sand emerged from the dunes. The eyes, consisting of the two halves of the beetle, glared down at Jafar and his men. Jafar urged his newest recruit, Kasim, to step forward.

Without warning, the tiger head suddenly spoke in a deep, rumbling voice.

**"WHO DARES DISTURB MY SLUMBER?"**

"It...it is I, Kasim." Kasim, replied, terrified out of his mind. "A thief".

**"KNOW THIS. ONLY ONE MAY ENTER HERE. ONE WHO'S WORTH LIES FAR WITHIN: THE DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH."**

Kasim stood there, uncertain what to do next. 'What are you waiting for? Go on! Time is running short. Those agents could be here any moment!" ordered Jafar, getting impatient.

_Arabian nights_  
_Like Arabian days_  
_They seem to excite, take off and take flight_  
_To shock and amaze_

After a moment Kassim, approached the massive tiger head and climbed into the mouth-like entrance to the cave, hoping everything would be fine. Suddenly, the tiger head closed its mouth down upon the screaming man, killing him instantly before beginning to disappear back into the sand. Jafar bellowed a furious "NOOOOOO!" at the sight of his failure. The tiger then gave one last sentence before the cave disappeared, leaving the two beetle halves behind.

**"SEEK OUT THE DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH."**

_Arabian nights_  
_'Neath Arabian moons_  
_A fool off his guard could fall and fall hard_  
_Out there on the dunes_


	2. Desert Brawl

Fuming, Jafar began turning back towards his men to plan what to do next. The Cave of Wonders would only let someone who was "the diamond in the rough" inside and they would have to search Agrabah as to who would fit the bill.

"Awwww, what's wrong, Jafar?" Has your little treasure hunt failed?" a voice rang out from 12 feet away.

"WHAT NOW?!" Jafar exclaimed, spinning around to look at who was taunting him. The voice had come from a tall, red-haired girl in a green jumpsuit, who was grinning at his misfortune. Standing on either side of her were a dark-haired Latina girl with a similar, yellow outfit and a cute blonde girl with a red suit. _"As if things couldn't get any worse," _Jafar grimaced to himself. "_W.H.O.O.P. has found me."_

"So, you must be the W.H.O.O.P. agents sent to capture me." Jafar said, a sly tone to his voice. "When the sultan confronted me on my efforts to usurp his throne and start a war with America, he mentioned that they were sending their best agents to put an end to my plans. And yet, THIS is who Jerry Lewis tasks with bringing down the mighty Jafar? 3 teenage girls? They might as well have sent children to fight me, or even better, local street-rats!" He grimaced at that last statement.

"Look, buddy, we may be teenagers, but your sultan wasn't kidding." Alex retorted. "We've saved the world from meenies far worse than you. Compared to guys like Tim Scam, you're just second-rate!"

"SILENCE, you sniveling brat!" roared Jafar. "I'm not second-rate! I'm second to NO ONE! SIEZE THEM!"

With that, the three remaining henchman made their way over towards the three girls, swords drawn.

"Wow, Sammy, this guy's got, like, a serious inferiority complex" noted Clover.

"You said it, Clover", Sam replied. "Now let's kick these guys' butts!"

And with that, the three 3 girls leapt into action.

**(Song for ensuing fight scene: One Jump Ahead):**

watch?v=Q0ukS1ceZa0

Sam:

(while doging and flipping over Goon #1)

_Gotta keep_  
_One jump ahead of the breadline_  
_One swing ahead of the sword_  
_I'd pick any one who's ever scored_

_(_Clobbers goon in the back of the head_) _  
_And that's none of you!_

_Alex:_

(while dodging around Goon # 2)

_One jump ahead of the baddies_  
_That's all, and that's no joke_  
_These guys don't appreciate a cloak!_

(Pulls a cloak over another goons head and flips him over, giggling)

Goon 1:

(Swipes at Sam)

_Riffraff_!

Goon # 2:

(Pulls cloak off head)

_Street rat!_

Sam:

(Ducks sword swings)  
_Soundrel!_

Jafar:

(swipes at Clover with his cobra staff)  
_Take that!_

Clover:

(pulls out an apple and offers it to Jafar)

_Just a little snack, guys?_

(Jafar knocks the apple out of Clover's hand; she looks annoyed at being rejected)

Jafar:

(to Goons)

_Rip them apart, kick their butts, guys_

Clover:

(while dodging Goons 1 and 2 swords)

_I can take a hint, gotta face the facts  
What's a poor girl gonna do?_

Alex:

(taunting Jafar in a mocking tone)

_Oh it's sad Jafar has hit the bottom  
He's become a a one-man rise in crime_

Sam:

(joins in the taunting)

I'd blame parents except he hasn't got 'em

(Jafar growls at this)

Alex

(grabs the beetle halves)

_Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat?  
Tell us all about it when ya got the time!_

Clover

(toying with Goon #3)

_One jump ahead of the slowpokes_  
_One skip ahead of my doom_

(pulls out her compowder to look at herself in the mirror for a sec)  
_Next time gonna use a nom de plume_

_One jump ahead of the hitmen_  
_One hit ahead of the flock_

(twirls around Goon # 3 like she's on a pole and then spins him like a top before kicking him in the face)  
_I think I'll take a stroll around the block_

_(Jafar sucker punches Alex and grabs the beetle halves)_

Alex:

_Stop, thief! Vandal!_

Sam:  
_Outrage!_

Clover:  
_Scandal!_

_Jafar:_

_(Now on the ropes, tries to bargain while attempting to retreat)_

_Let's not be too hasty_

_Clover_

_(comes up behind and flirts with him)_

_Still I think he's rather tasty!_

_Goon #1_

_(Punches Sam)_

_Gotta eat to live_

_Goon # 2_

_Gotta steal to eat_

_Goon # 3_

_Otherwise we'd get along!_

All 3 Girls:

_Wrong!_

The 4 bad guys try to get away, leaving the girls to give chase. Alex corners the 3 goons and pulls out a W.H.O.O.P prototype laser laser.

"Look out! She's got a gun!" shouts one of the goons. Jafar turns back around in surprise...only to then glare at his men in disgust.

"You miserable idiots, SO DO I!" Jafar pulls out a pistol and shoots all 3 of his men dead. Alex just barely gets out of the way and avoids getting shot herself. She rejoins Sam and Clover and resumes chasing Jafar.

Sam:

_One jump ahead of the hoofbeats_

Alex:

_One hop ahead of the hump_

Clover:

_One trick ahead of disaster!_

Alex:

_They're quick, but I'm much faster!_

Sam:

(prepares to use Alex as a jumping platform)

_Here goes, better throw my hand in_  
_Wish me happy landin'_  
_All I gotta do is JUMP!_

And with that, Sam leapt off Alex's shoulders high into the air as Alex sprinted, and with a powerful divekick, knocked Jafar to the ground. The would-be sorcerer groaned once before passing out unconscious. Mission accomplished.

The three girls finally stopped to catch their breath and looked over their defeated foe.

"Well, that escalated quickly." Sam joked. "Let's call Jerry to pick this guy up...and then maybe we can investigate that cave he was trying to enter."

**Please review and let me know of any suggestions!**


	3. An Unexpected Diamond

Author's note: Sorry this chapter is late. Chalk it up to a bad case of writer's block and just being very busy. Hope this is worth it, guys!

A few moments later, W.H.O.O.P sent a security team to arrest Jafar and his cronies. They arrived as quick as lightning, hauling the disgraced vizier and his men off to containment while also, per Sam's suggestion, confiscating Jafar's staff in the process. Sam had heard from the sultan's daughter Jasmine that Jafar had used it to try and hypnotize the local sultan many times to get what he wanted, and she felt that such a weapon would be too dangerous to be keep nearby. After the guards left, the trio of spies were left alone in the middle of the desert.

"Sammy, can't we just go home?" Alex whined. "We got Jafar, so we don't need to take care of anything else! Besides, that giant tiger head thingy was scary! Why would you want to bring that thing back?"

"Alex, that was the entrance to that "Cave of Wonders" Jafar was looking for!" Sam explained. "If we can summon it again, we can at least make sure that place didn't have anything dangerous that he wanted. It's just a safety precaution, that's all."

"But, like, didn't the tiger head say, we needed "the diamond in the rough" to enter?" Clover asked. "Jafar didn't have any kind of diamonds on him! Besides, I don't wanna go into some icky cave! I just had my nails done!"

"That didn't stop you from cleaning those guys' clocks, Clover" Sam scolded. "Now, come on. Let's look around. I think Jafar dropped something during the fight that can help us".

The three girls then split up slightly to search the area where the cave entrance first appeared. Eventually, Clover found the two beetle halves from before.

"Ooooh! Girls, I think I found some treasure! It's two halves of some kind of gold beetle! Clover squealed, as she started putting the two halves together. "This would look great as a necklace! Now, if only I can just put it back together..."

"CLOVER, WAIT!" Sam and Alex shouted. But it was too late. The now reformed beetle suddenly flew out of Clover's hands, causing the blonde to scream in surprise. The artifact dived back under the sand, and the tiger head emerged once more. The shaking ground caused by the emergence knocked Clover on her butt, and she looked up in terror at the looming cave entrance before her. Once again the giant tiger head spoke.

"**WHO DARES DISTURB MY SUMBER?**"

Clover was silent for a moment, but then found the courage to answer.

"Uhhhh, hi. My name is Clover Ewing, and I wanna know if-"

"**PROCEED. TOUCH NOTHING BUT THE LAMP."**

All 3 girls were shocked at this.

"But, Mister Tiger Head," Alex inquired, "why is Clover allowed to enter your cave and not that last guy who tried?

"**SHE IS THE DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH."** the head replied. "**HER WORTH LIES FAR WITHIN HERSELF. THEREFORE, SHE IS WORTHY TO ENTER. NO ONE ELSE."**

"WHAT?!" Sam and Alex exclaimed

"SHE's the one Jafar needed?" Sam couldn't believe it. CLOVER, of all people?

"**INDEED.**" the head answered. "**NOW, ENTER, CLOVER MASON. CLAIM THE LAMP. TOUCH NOTHING ELSE, OR YOU WILL SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES.**"

With that, the tiger head opened its mouth wide and a set of stairs appeared inside. Clover took a deep breath and looked back at her friends.

"Don't worry, guys! I'll be fine!" Clover reassured "I just need to get whatever this lamp he's talking about and I'll be back! It won't take even 5 minutes!"

Pressing forward, Clover entered the Cave of Wonders and traversed down the stairs towards the treasure within...


	4. The Blonde, The Carpet and the Lamp

To Clover, the long, stone stairway seemed to go downwards for a long time. Thankfully, the full moon outside illuminated just enough light for her to see where she was going. Eventually, she saw a bright, glimmering light coming from an entrance just ahead and moved towards it. What Clover found was beyond her wildest dreams. The blonde W.H.O.O.P. agent found herself in a massive room full of gold treasures of various kind. Such wealth would be enough to make her possibly the richest girl in Beverly Hills!

"OMG! This is incredible!" Clover exclaimed. "If I could take all of this gold with me, I'd be rich! I could rub it in Mandy's smug, stupid face! I'd-". She then realized this was what the giant tiger head outside had warned her not to touch. An easy trap, to say the least. "Oh right, consequences. I'd better move on." she said glumly to herself. Keeping her self-control in check, she made her way through the gilded room towards a not-as-bright chamber ahead.

Just before entering the next room, Clover noticed something weird out of the corner of her eye. Trapped under a small rock pillar was a large purple carpet with gold tassels on the end. And it looked like it was moving, struggling even, to get out. Clover had to do something, but didn't want to get in trouble for it.

"Uh, Mr. Tiger Head Guy," Clover called up to the cave entrance above, "there's a moving carpet stuck in here and it looks like it needs my help. Is it ok to do so?"

"**THE CARPET IS NOT AMONG THE FORBIDDEN TREASURES.**" the head replied. "**IT WAS AN ENTITY TRAPPED HERE LONG AGO. YOU MAY HAVE IT, IF YOU WISH."**

"Thanks!" Clover replied back. She then ran over the carpet and, with all her might, lifted the pillar off it and shoved it off to the side with a loud thud. Without warning, the carpet leapt up as if to exclaim "I'm free!" and flew over to Clover, flying circles around her and giving her a great big hug out of gratitude.

"Wow, are you, like, one of those magic carpets I heard about in fairy tales or something?" Clover asked. The carpet moved its top part in response, as if nodding. "That's so cool! Why don't we get you out of this place? Oh wait! Do you know where I can find a lamp the tiger head outside was mentioning?" The carpet nodded again and indicated towards where Clover was heading in the first place as if to say "Follow me". Taking the hint, she followed the carpet to the next room.

Inside, Clove saw a lone, circular rock platform with steps leading up towards it. At the center, highlighted by a glimmer of light around it, was a golden oil lamp. This must be what she was told to get. Making her way up the stairs, Clover then carefully took the lamp in order to make sure there wasn't one last booby-trap that she wasn't warned about. Waiting a moment to see if everything was alright, she breathed a sigh of relief and looked at the object in her hand.

"So this is what all the fuss is about" Clover mused. "Well, best to head back outside. Carpet, can you help me get out of here, pretty please?" The carpet was more that happy to oblige, flying up to her so she could get on.

Back outside, Sam and Alex were wondering if everything was alright. This was more than 5 minutes, though not by much. No sooner did the thought enter their minds, then they saw Clover flying out of the cave on the carpet.

"I got the lamp, guys! Clover exclaimed proudly. "AND I made a friend, as well!"

"Oh my gosh, Clover, is that a magic carpet?" Sam exclaimed. "This is incredible! I never though something like that would exist!"

Suddenly, the tiger head spoke once more.

"**MY TASK IS FINISHED. THE LAMP IS YOURS. NOW, I WILL CEASE TO BE AND THE CAVE SHALL REMAINED BURIED FOR ALL TIME. FAREWELL, CLOVER MASON. MAY YOU USE THE LAMP WISELY."**

"Wait, what do you mean? What's in the lamp?" Clover asked.

"**ALL WILL BE REVEALED TO YOU IN DUE TIME. FAREWELL.**"

And with that, the tiger head vanished back into the sands one last time, the golden beetle halves melting into nothingness. The three girls stood pondering to themselves for a while before one of them spoke up.

"Well, let's head home, then." Sam decided. "And tell Jerry not to worry about booking a ride home." She then looked over to the carpet, who was busy making a sand castle nearby. "We already have one."


End file.
